'Nevertheless people are different, life is about variation and individualism'
Yunah closes the book with a heavy sigh. 'Individualism' it's a heavy word. A word that is orbits beyond her reach. People are different.Yes she understands.
But in this world, people own different kind of uniqueness.
She's just one of those few who went the wrong path. Really, sixteen years of being a constant passive and abnormaly mute person is a pain in the ass.
She laughs.
Not too mention a kind of self-masochism. Abusing solitary is not exactly anyone's hobby.
No, it's a habit to her. An automatic defense mechanism.
She puts down the book beside her, laying it down face down and open on the page she was scanning through. The cover bright clashing blue and green cover reads '6 Important Decisions'.
Another self-help book.
Another busted investment.
She closes her eyes and listen quietly to the birds chirping above the scarcely populated playground.
She's a coward.
She's scared.
She's an outcast.
She knows it.
She knows that everyone knows it.
She thinks of Eunhae, someone she looks up to a lot. Even though she's older than her.
A confident hardworking figure.
She envies Eunhae.
But also misses her a lot.
Together they make a perfect person.
Eunhae always says Yunah got the looks. Yunah always says Eunhae got the most brilliant personality.
It's Yin and Yang. Summer Winter. Sun and Moon.
But they always collaborate to make up something doesn't it?
They're so different yet they're best friends. People wonder. Yes people do.
Yunah wonder because she thinks Eunhae deserves a better best friend than her. Someone who can push her further to do the best she can.
Eunhae often e-slaps her and told her to cut out the bullshit.
Then there's Haneul. Her friend since god knows how long, kidergarten?
They're stuck together because they are both so much alike.
Except Haneul looks like a model and could be one if only she has more confidence in herself. But she's a better person than Yunah.
A lot more giving and doesn't show her selfishness. Unlike Yunah.
She laughs at the trantums she often throws at Haneul a long time ago when they were fifth grade. Everytime Yunah lost to Haneul at a chess match, there would be a slam on the board.
Then Haneul would repeat the game again and lost just for her.
Yunah also took Haneul for granted a long time ago. But Haneul still hangs out with her. Yunah didn't realize her selfishness until she had a fight with Haneul and found out what Haneul REALLY thinks of her.
It was painful and Yunah cried.
Since then Yunah realizes her selfishness and treats Haneul better. Hopefully.
Haneul is a precious friend to Yunah because she taught her how to give.
She misses her too.
Yunah stare at the cloudy sky.
Yes she knows she's a boring person.
Yes she knows she sometimes stare at people for no reason at all.
She also knows the fact that some people doesn't really think of her as a 'straight' person because of that.
She's been bullied about it beforehand somewhere.
Whatever, she thought.
A drop of snow landed on her face. Then slowly others followed, creating patches of white on the groung. She laid down, ignoring the fact that she'll have a great headache tomorrow.
A new season starts.
Time for a change maybe?
-----------------------------
Okay this is just bizare.
True or not I'm not telling.
AND;
I AM FUCKIN TIRED.
